


How Many Secrets Can You Keep?

by JeremyBearimy



Series: Gay to Me [2]
Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Jen Harding, Canon Divergence, Episode: s01e01 Pilot, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Jen has the hots for Judy, Judy has a crush on Jen, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Shameless Smut, This one got a little out-of-hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 11:46:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19106449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeremyBearimy/pseuds/JeremyBearimy
Summary: Jen reveals something about her past that excites Judy.Set during the Pilot episode. The "I'm from Brooklyn" scene.





	1. Have You Got Color In Your Cheeks?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I'm sorry but this is a bit indulgent and gets a little kinky. (And if you're not into that, that's fine, don't read it!) There is a mix of fluff in there though. Reminder that this is not connected to the first part of the series and is its own separate story. In this universe Jen already knows she's bisexual and has been with women in the past. This takes place while Jen still thinks Steve is dead.
> 
> And on an unrelated note: NETFLIX RENEWED DEAD TO ME FOR SEASON TWO AND I'M SO GODDAMN EXCITED FOR MORE JEN AND JUDY CONTENT! FUCK!

“You’re from Brooklyn?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“How did I not know that?”

Jen shrugged, “there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Oh yeah, is that supposed to sound mysterious or something?” Judy teased, “tell me, what else don’t I know about you?”

Jen thought for a moment, trying to come up with something juicy, but couldn’t come up with anything apart from the first thing that popped into her head, “Before I met Ted, I was engaged to a woman,” she sipped her wine nonchalantly.

“Wait, seriously?” Judy set down her glass now. “To a  _ woman _ ?” This was entirely unexpected, and gave Judy a very small glint of hope given . . . whatever it was that she felt for this woman.

Jen pursed her lips indifferently, nodding slowly.

“Well what happened?”

Jen shrugged, “we just jumped into things way too quickly. I don’t think we knew each other well enough when we committed to each other. Just got on each other’s nerves too much. And it was mostly for the sex to begin with.”

“ _ Oh _ ? So was the sex like, really good?” Judy was smirking at her a bit, trying to push the image of said sex out of her head, but it kept forcing its way back in.

Jen raised her eyebrows and looked off, seemingly fantasizing about it. “ _ Oh _ yeah.”

“Wow, well was it, like, better?”

“Better than what?”

“Than with men?”

“Oh. I mean,” Jen thought for a moment, “kind of just depends on the person. But if I’m comparing her and Ted directly . . . It was better with her,” she couldn’t help but laugh as she said it, never having said it out loud before. “It was better with her than like . . . Anyone else though. I think that’s most of the reason I said yes.”

“Ohhh so  _ she _ proposed to  _ you. _ ”

Jen shrugged, “yeah. But it was short-lived.”

A grin was forming on Judy’s lips, and her curiosity got the best of her. “So, what was so great about the sex?”

Jen laughed, sitting back further on the couch, “I guess the dynamic of it? We were . . . kind of kinky?”

“Oh yeah? Like some ‘Fifty Shades’ stuff?” Judy teased.

Jen almost choked on her wine from laughter. “Sure, something like that.”

Judy nudged her with her elbow, “come onnn. Tell me about it. Gimme the juicy details.”

Jen paused for a moment, looking her up and down and raising an eyebrow. “You get off on this or something?”

Trying to hide her blush, nervously laughing a bit now, Judy tried to backpedal, “no that’s not it I just,  _ well- _ “

Jen interrupted with another round of hysterical laughter. “Nothing crazy. Just some sadomasochistic shit. Some tying up, some spanking, that sorta thing.”

Judy swallowed hard, the image being even harder to shake from her brain now, “oh. Sadomasochism, huh?” She hesitated, “well, which role did you take on in that equation?”

Raising her eyebrows, Jen shook her head, “what do you  _ think _ ? You seriously think I’d let someone tie me up?”

Judy chuckled nervously and shrugged, “ah, okay okay, fair enough,” she raised up her hands. “But I don’t know how people are into that sorta thing, I mean, the other side of it especially. Like why would you  _ want _ someone to spank you? Or tie you up? Voluntarily . . .” 

Now a little intrigued, Jen set her glass down. “Well, have you ever tried it?”

“No no, never,” she shook her head somewhat frantically. “I was never interested in that sorta thing. Maybe I’m just vanilla, I don’t know,” Judy shrugged and wouldn’t look up at her now but was still trying to seem casual and indifferent. Staring into her glass, she continued timidly, “who knows? Maybe I’d like it if I tried it. I mean I’ve never tried girls either. Maybe I’d like  _ that _ if I tried it too. I guess I never had time to really experiment. I just always had a boyfriend I guess, I was never single for long,” she shrugged, still not looking up.

“Sounds like they were boring.”

Judy scrunched her nose up at that, but decided not to comment. 

“Well you’re single now right? Maybe it’s time to experiment,” Jen suggested with a shrug.

“Well, I don’t know, I’m officially in my forties, I think I’m too old for that shit now.”

Rolling her eyes, Jen elbowed her, “oh shut the fuck up, you’re not ninety.”

Judy laughed a bit, “I guess I just don’t really meet people anymore. Aside from people that  _ are _ ninety.”

Jen smirked, “You met me, didn’t you?”

“You think I wanna fuck someone from our grief counseling group?” Judy laughed, taking in a big gulp from her glass, trying to ignore any possible implications Jen was making,

“I’m in that group, are you saying I’m not a hot piece of ass?”

“Uh, well I mean  _ obviously _ , but you’re not-“

“I’m not  _ what _ ?” Jen asked, knowingly toying with the clearly nervous woman.

“Come on, you know what I mean,” Judy tried to laugh it off, rolling her eyes a bit, but she was squeezing her glass hard enough for her knuckles to go white now.

“Maybe I don’t,” Jen said softly.

“I-“ Judy couldn’t say anymore, she cut herself off before she let anything stupid come out of her mouth, which was hanging open a bit now.

Jen picked up her glass again and swallowed the rest of the contents, summoning up all the courage she had. “What’s a little experimentation between friends, right?”

Judy tried to laugh it off yet again, like this was all a joke, but Jen’s face didn’t budge. 

“You wanna try it, don’t you?” Jen grinned a bit.

Judy looked down and couldn’t help but grin shyly to herself, chuckling a bit and shaking her head. She hadn’t felt like this in a long time, this sort of butterflies-in-her-stomach bashfulness. She felt like a teenager talking to her crush for the first time. Before today, she’d developed a  _ tiny _ bit of a crush on Jen, or some sort of attraction she couldn’t shake; one she wasn’t particularly used to. “I do,” she said, unable to look up from her glass.

“Okay,” Jen said, setting down her glass and slowly sliding closer to Judy.

Folding into herself a bit, Judy spoke. “What now?”

Moving a bit closer, Jen whispered “what would you like me to do to you?”

Judy couldn’t stop the stupid grin forming on her face again, “um,” she chuckled and shook her head, nervously and bashfully, feeling Jen’s eyes all over her. Trying to think on her feet, she answered, hoping if she started speaking that something coherent would come out. “I want you to . . .” The things that Jen had said she’d done with the other woman were the only ideas running through her head, so she picked one; “spank me,” she finished, immediately cursing herself for saying  _ that _ of all things. She could have said “fuck me”, she could have said “touch me”, she could have even said “kiss me”. Of  _ all _ fucking things. Now she was biting down hard on the inside of her cheeks, trying to keep anything else from coming out.

The blonde sat next to her with her knees curled up, her mouth hanging open and now going dry, the two of them were under the same blanket. Jen was glad the blanket was there now, when she felt the familiar heat of arousal pooling in her stomach she snapped her thighs shut, putting both hands between them to try to relieve the tension. She certainly was not expecting that answer and was having trouble finding words. “Well then,” she finally said, pulling the blanket off of them both and sitting forward until her feet were on the floor, “why don’t you bend over my knee,” she said, swallowing hard, her throat bone dry.

Judy stood up slowly, “okay, okay,” she nodded, “so I just, um . . .” She gestured towards Jen’s lap.

Impatiently, Jen took her by the arm and pulled her down over her legs, or  _ guided _ her, rather. Judy let out a little squeak when she landed. “Oh . . .” She whispered softly to herself the moment she felt Jen’s hand gently rubbing her ass.

“Tell me why we're doing this.”

“Because . . .” Judy bit down hard on her bottom lip. What the hell was she supposed to say? “Because I’ve been a bad girl?” she tried, smirking to herself a bit. Jen swatted her ass immediately after. “ _ Ouch _ !” Judy squeaked, not having expected the sudden impact, but also having somewhat enjoyed it.

“You’ve been a  _ what _ ? I can’t hear you.”

“I’ve been . . .” Judy squirmed nervously, “I’ve been a very naughty girl,” she said, trying not to laugh.

“ _ And _ ?” Jen asked sternly. 

“And I need to be punished?” she suggested, and she thought maybe she actually did deserve to be punished. Especially by Jen. Jen of all people deserved to be punishing her. She wished this would be enough to put them on even grounds with each other, but she knew it wouldn’t.

Jen laughed, “I was just fucking with you but it’s kinda hot that you went along with it.”

Judy blushed, relieved that her face wasn’t in Jen’s line of vision. “Oh,” she said softly.

Jen was still chuckling but she ran her hand over Judy’s ass a few more times, slow, gentle strokes that Judy didn’t mind at all. “Now, sweetie, how many strokes do you think you deserve?”

“Um,” Judy was chewing her lip again, she wanted to say a lower number, but she thought she deserved a much larger punishment, so she shot a bit high. “Fifty,” she said meekly.


	2. Do I Wanna Know, If This Feeling Flows Both Ways?

Jen paused for a moment before starting, “are you sure, hon? Fifty’s . . . kind of a lot.”

Judy nodded, assuming Jen was probably looking in the direction of her head, “it’s fine.”

“Well, okay,” Jen shrugged. “Tell me if it’s too much, alright. And count for me.” With that command she came down with a hard swat, waited a moment, and said “count” more sternly.

Judy had been too distracted by the sting to say anything, but now she obediently called out, “one!” and waited for the next. They came down hard, one after the other, Jen was wasting no time. In the meantime, Judy was starting to understand why people liked it; maybe it was the little sting that came from Jen’s hand or the power and authority Jen had over her right now, but she could feel herself starting to soak through her panties.

Aroused or not, Judy was getting increasingly sore with each swat and now starting to whimper each time Jen made contact, but she didn’t ask her to stop. Not listening to her brain anymore, her body kept trying to squirm out of Jen’s grasp, but Jen only held her down more firmly. She had now reached 25 which she knew was the halfway point, but Jen had stopped. Maybe, she thought, she was getting a little break, like an intermission. She thought so especially when Jen asked her to stand up, that is until she grabbed her waistband and tugged her pants down to her knees.

“ _ Jen _ ! What the hell are you doing?” Judy whispered, “someone could see! We’re outside!” she reached down to grab at her waistband, all of her blood rushing to her cheeks.

Jen laughed, “you’re only worried about that  _ now _ ? Wasn’t a problem a minute ago!” she moved her hands to the backs of Judy’s thighs and tugged her a bit closer, “but no one can see in here, honey,  _ trust _ me.”

Judy relaxed a bit, “fine, keep going then.”  _ I deserve this, _ she thought again.

Jen stared up at her and bit down on her bottom lip before taking her by the arm and pulling Judy over her lap. “Kinda seems like you’re enjoying this, sweetie,” Jen commenter before placing her hand on Judy’s now-purple panty clad ass. 

Again, Judy was glad Jen couldn’t see her face because it was bright red. “Maybe I am,” she said softly.

Jen’s hand came down again and Judy realized her pants were providing a lot of cushion “ _ ouch _ ! God.”

“Want me to stop?” Jen asked in a sing-songy voice.

“No,” Judy snorted, “you can do it harder.” It hurt, but Jesus, she  _ was  _ enjoying it; every little sting had her blood pumping. The feeling was cathartic for her but part of her didn’t want to be enjoying it so much. She wanted to be punished for what she did, and if she was being punished, she wanted it to be a stiff punishment; one that would make her feel even slightly less guilty around Jen. But the way she was soaking her panties wasn’t exactly cathartic. 

When Jen reached forty, she wrapped her finger and thumb around the waistband of Judy’s panties. “Can I take these off?” she asked, sliding her fingers back and forth over the band. 

The voice Jen used was much deeper than she usually spoke, it stirred something up deep inside Judy that only increased the warmth creeping between her legs. “Yes,” she whispered. And Jen pulled them halfway down her thighs. She was, again, very aware that she was outside, the light breezes feeling particularly chilling between her thighs which were now being coated by her wetness, making her squeeze them together tightly. She got a chill and shook a bit, prompting Jen to lean down and kiss her back, lifting the back of her coat for closer contact and continuing to rub it with one hand before swatting again, hard.

Judy gasped loudly, not having expected the amount of pain it caused. But she realized the pain was exactly what she wanted, so she never said to stop. Each smack was making her flinch now, and whimper softly.

“Are you okay?” Jen asked when she flinched particularly hard.

Judy sniffled, “yes,” she said in what was probably a pretty unconvincing voice, because Jen paused for a moment and gently rubbed the red handprint she had left on her for a little while before coming down again. It was then that tears pricked in Judy’s eyes, which she kept trying to blink away, but the more she thought about everything they represented, the more fell. She tried to count off “forty-six,” in the most calm and quiet voice possible, but the sound of her crying came out very apparently in her voice, which only made her cry harder. Before she started crying she hadn’t really found the situation embarrassing, and maybe she should’ve, but she was too aroused by Jen’s power over her and physicality to focus much on that.  _ Now _ , with her stinging, red ass exposed to the cold outdoors, her face probably just as red, tears running down her cheeks, laying over another woman’s lap, she felt utterly humiliated and defeated. But in that moment, she received the catharsis she was seeking.  _ I deserve this _ , she thought,  _ I deserve so much worse than this. _

“Honey,” Jen rubbed her back softly, “sit up, please.”

Judy scrambled to pull herself onto the couch beside Jen, trying not to stand up all the way in an attempt to preserve some of her dignity. She was sobbing even harder, because Jen  _ knew _ she was crying now.

Once she was sitting up next to Jen--and sitting was much more painful than she expected, but she tried to hide the cringe it brought--, her panties still around her knees and tears still streaming down her face, Jen looked at her with her eyebrows furrowed, and her mouth hanging open a bit out of shock. “ _ Judy _ ?” she tucked a thumb under the whimpering brunettes left eye and wiped a tear away, “what the hell? Why didn’t you ask me to stop?”

Judy tried to answer but she was sobbing too hard, “because, I,” sobs cut her off between each word, attempting to speak was pointless.

Jen pursed her lips and tilted her head empathetically. “Sweetheart,” she leaned forward and hugged her as tight as she could, rubbing her back affectionately, “Jesus. I was trying to play with you, not traumatize you.”

Judy tried to laugh between sobs. “I’m,” she sobbed again, “okay.”

Jen released her from the hug and held her by the shoulders, looking her in the eye.

“Seriously,” Judy sniffed and wiped her face on her coat sleeve, she tried to force a fake smile again and again, but she was not at all convincing, “I’m totally fine,” she tried to smile more, “I’m just a crier, I was crying about something else.”

Jen sighed and ran her thumb over her cheek affectionately. “Honey, no you weren’t. It’s  _ okay _ .”

Judy tried to keep up her fake smile, but with Jen’s words, her face crumpled and she broke into another fit of sobs, prompting Jen to pull her in for another hug. She rubbed her back again, shushing her softly. “I know, I know. Sometimes you start to cry and everything hits you all at once. It happens to me all the time. That’s what happens when you’re grieving.”

When Jen said that the dam broke yet again. Jen referencing the fact that she was grieving was only a reminder that she’d lied about Steve, and now she felt even worse about herself. She clung onto her friend tightly, squeezing the fabric of her shirt into her fists as she cried on her shoulder. She didn’t deserve Jen’s sympathy, she thought.

“Come on,” said Jen, patting her back a bit sternly, making Judy release her grip, “why don’t you pull up your panties and come in with me and I’ll take care of you.”

Judy nodded and yanked up her underwear as she stood from the couch, the contact of it with her raw skin making her wince.

Jen got up and took her by the hand, “come on, hon, I’ve got some Aloe Vera in my room.”

Judy sniffled and nodded gratefully, feeling a bit pathetic, but she held her friend’s hand and followed her inside to her bedroom. 


	3. Was Sorta Hoping That You'd Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slumber party?

“What a nice room,” Judy tried to say with some enthusiasm, attempting her fake smile again.

“Thank you,” Jen said with a bit of a sigh, unable to look at Judy’s facial expression. “Here,” Jen came up behind her and began sliding her coat off her shoulders, “let me take that,” she said before hanging it up in her closet along with her own.

Judy stood awkwardly in the middle of the room in her blouse and panties, knowing sitting would probably hurt like hell. Jen looked at her and sighed yet again.

“Would you like to stay here tonight?” she finally asked.

Judy turned around and looked at her, teary-eyed. “That’s very generous,” she sniffled, “but you don’t have to-”

“I insist,” Jen interrupted, “it’s really nothing, I just, you know, wanna make sure that you’re okay.”

“I’m okay, really,” Judy smiled through her tears.

Jen raised her eyebrows, “mm-kay,” she said, somewhat unconvinced. “Well, my second drawer down has T-shirts in it. You can borrow whatever you want to sleep in.”

“Thank you,” Judy said softly, nodding. She pulled out a plain blue V-neck T-shirt and turned back to Jen, “Should I . . . Where’s your bathroom?”

Jen laughed, “you can change in here, sweetie, let’s not act like I didn’t just see you naked from the waist down,” she folded her arms and sat down on her bed.

“Right,” said Judy, trying to return the laughter some. She turned away from Jen, back towards the dresser, and pulled her blouse up over her head, slowly folding it and setting it on top of the piece of furniture. She could feel Jen watching her, which only made her move slower and more awkwardly, suddenly forgetting how to do such a simple task. Reaching around herself, she began unhooking her bra, which she couldn’t seem to do for some reason, and the knowledge of Jen seeing all of this only made her hands shake harder.

She heard the creek of Jen getting up off of the bed and froze completely, feeling the older woman coming up behind her.

“I can’t watch this anymore,” Jen reached up and unhooked the back of her bra. “Don’t be so nervous,” she said affectionately as she slid Judy’s straps down her arms. “I won’t bite,” she tugged the bra off the rest of the way and stepped a bit closer, bringing her lips to the back of Judy’s ear; “unless you ask nicely,” she whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder before walking away.

Judy stood, eyes closed, and felt a shiver go down her spine, she took in a shaky breath and whispered “fuck” to herself, her legs feeling like jelly now. It took her a moment to gather herself before she pulled the shirt on, only then noticing how erect her nipples were and blushing at the thought of Jen having probably seen.

“Come here,” Jen called from the bed, patting it softly.

Judy tugged the elastic out of her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders before she approached Jen, who was leaning back and looking her up and down with a little smirk plastered on her face. “What is it?” Judy asked.

“You,” the smirk grew, “you’re adorable,” she shrugged. Jen sat up straight now, taking her hands off the bed. “Now take those panties off and lay right here,” she rubbed a spot on the bed, “I’ll take care of you, okay?”

“Okay, but,” Judy pursed her lips and stared in all directions awkwardly, “will you turn around?”

Jen laughed, “Why?”

“Because I haven’t shaved in God-knows how long. Will you just,” she frantically gestured for her to turn around.

Jen cocked her head to the side, raising her eyebrows and put up her hands in surrender, chuckling. “Okay okay, fine,” she turned around on the bed, “whatever makes you comfortable.”

Judy breathed a sigh of relief and gently peeled her panties down her legs, walking them over to the dresser to leave with her other clothes; they were far too wet to leave anywhere within Jen’s line of vision. She crawled on the bed beside Jen and laid flat. “Okay, do whatever you want to me, but be warned, I may fall asleep. This bed is so comfortable,” Judy’s voice was muffled by her arms, both folded in front of her so that she could lay her head on them.

Jen turned around and bit down hard on her bottom lip in response to her current view. Judy laying there clad in only her blue T-shirt which was bunched up just a bit and her long legs and pert little ass on display was almost too much to handle. “Okay,” she said softly before stretching to take the bottle of Aloe Vera from her nightstand, “this will sooth the burn.” Jen squeezed a bit of the gel into her palm and rubbed her hands together to warm it a bit. She sighed, “your ass is so red, I’m sorry, hon.”

“Mm, don’t be sorry,” Judy said a bit sleepily, “I’m the one who said fifty.”

Jen chuckled, “Yeah you are. But I should’ve stopped when you started getting red.”

Judy shrugged, “I told you to keep going.”

“I guess,” Jen sighed softly before moving to rub the gel on Judy’s burning skin.

“Mm, that feels nice,” Judy said as Jen caressed her affectionately, but a moment later she started laughing. “This is so weird.”

“It is. But my hands are on your ass so I don’t really mind.”

Judy laughed more at that, “I don’t mind it either, touch me as much as you like.”

“God, don’t tempt me,” Jen said in a low voice that made Judy’s entire body clench.

“Mmm,” Judy hummed, “I like this feeling.”

“I can tell,” Jen chuckled again, “especially since you’re dripping on my comforter.”

Judy’s eyebrows shot up, her face heating up yet again, which she shoved into the mattress to hide. A muffled groan came from the bed, “I’m sorry! Oh God that’s embarrassing.”

Jen laughed harder now, “don’t be embarrassed, I’m flattered.”

Judy’s face was now bright red. “Shut up,” she muttered into the sheets.

“Anyways,” Jen rubbed her hands on her pants a bit, “I’m done.”

“Already?” Judy groaned.

“Yes, hon,” Jen bent down and laid a kiss on her red skin before getting up to put the gel away.

Judy let out a little squeak and tensed up for a moment before relaxing into the bed. “Kiss-ass,” she murmured into the comforter teasingly.

Jen snorted and sat back on the bed. “Hey,” she started scratching Judy’s back softly, making her hum to herself, “I could fix that other problem for you too,” her voice dropped a bit lower, now a bit nervous, “If you want.”

“You mean . . ?”

“My comforter,” Jen said with all the confidence she could muster.

“Oh,” Judy said softly. At first the very mention horrified her, she was in no way prepared, at least physically. But on second thought, she remembered this was  _ Jen _ , and she really trusted Jen. They’d only known each other a short time now, but she trusted this woman more than anyone else in her life. Just thinking about Jen relaxed her, and a huge grin formed on her face, “are you offering to fuck me?”

Jen was caught off-guard by the bluntness of the question, and the fact that it did not hint at an answer. “Um,” she glanced up at the ceiling nervously, “yes?”

Judy laughed and propped herself up on her elbows so she could look back at the blonde, “Go ahead. But I haven’t shaved above the knee in like a month.”

Jen laughed with her and shook her head, “you really think I care about  _ that _ right now?” she asked as she pulled her shoes off and crawled towards Judy on the bed. Grabbing her shoulder, she pushed her until she’d rolled her onto her back and straddled her all in one motion.

Judy couldn’t stop the smile forming on her face, “ _ wow _ , Jen.”

Jen smiled back and brought her hand to the side of Judy’s head, gently stroking her eyebrow with her thumb and staring at her adoringly. “What are friends for?” she teased, but didn’t laugh this time; couldn’t shake the expression of total adoration from her face.

Judy chuckled softly and bit down on her bottom lip, staring up at Jen with the same loving intensity in her eyes. “I don’t know,” she breathed, “why don’t you show me?” she reached up and placed a hand on the back of Jen’s neck, trying to subtly direct her downwards.

“ _ Wow _ , Judy,” she echoed back to her friend with a little smirk forming. She wasted no time and took Judy’s subtle direction, their lips affectionately crashing together. 

  
  



	4. Baby We Both Know

They kissed a long while; a kiss that it felt like they’d been waiting to share for years and years. They let the soft, wet skin of their lips gently brush together, moving agonizingly slow but cherishing every moment of it. Jen kept one hand half in the back of Judy’s hair and half holding her cheek, gently brushing her thumb over the smooth flesh. Judy was humming softly, her whole body starting to squirm a bit against Jen, which Jen couldn’t blame her for; she’d essentially been teasing her the entire night, but she found the soft noises emerging from Judy’s throat endearing enough to melt completely into her.

When they finally separated, Jen met Judy’s adoring eyes with a soft, loving smile and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered.

Judy felt that butterflies-in-her-stomach, schoolgirl crush sensation yet again, “thank you,” she said bashfully. She watched as Jen separated from her and sat all the way up. 

“Sit up, honey.” And Judy obliged. Jen grabbed the bottom of the T-shirt the brunette had only just put on and tugged it over her head before taking Judy’s face in both hands and continuing their kiss.

“Mm,” Judy hummed as they separated. She realized she was entirely naked, not that she minded, but Jen was still fully dressed. Grabbing the bottom of Jen’s blouse, she started to tug it upward with as much confidence as she could muster, only to find that her arms weren’t long enough to pull it completely up and over in this position. Jen giggled at her attempt with her shirt half off and tugged it off the rest of the way for her. 

“Oh,” Judy breathed, laying back and moving her hands to Jen’s hips, admiring  her now-exposed abdomen.

“Like what you see?” Jen teased.

“Yes, ma’am,” Judy said enthusiastically, her eyes widening a bit.

“Well,” Jen leaned back down to her face, kissing from her jawline down to her neck, eliciting a needy moan, “I like what  _ I _ see.” She peppered her chest with kisses before moving down to her breasts. “God, you have perfect tits,” she said as she ran her mouth over them, gently nipping at the skin.

Unable to speak, Judy let out a little groan of approval, her eyes shut tight and mouth hanging open just a bit. She’d never felt a woman’s lips on her breasts before and was relishing in the smooth, plump texture of them that made the blonde’s little exploration that much more enjoyable.

Eventually, Jen’s lips made their way between the two breasts and down Judy’s taut belly. The brunette’s breath was hitching now, the other’s touch suddenly overwhelming as she made her way lower and lower. Her whole body was now tensing up in anticipation, her chest rising and falling rapidly as Jen’s mouth found its way below her navel and laid a few kisses over her pubic hair which, evidently, she didn’t seem to mind. “Jesus, Judy, you’re so fucking wet,” Jen said before letting her tongue dip, causing the younger girl to let out a little squeak. She would’ve teased her for longer but the poor girl had probably had enough at this point, she thought.

“You’re welcome,” Judy panted.

Jen gripped the undersides of her thighs and spread them open for more access, licking and kissing everything within her line of vision to get Judy worked up and rocking against her before focusing her energy on her main goal. She hooked her hands around Judy’s upper thighs and tugged her body in towards her mouth, licking and sucking indulgently once she found what Judy was most sensitive to.

“Fuck, Jen,” Judy moaned, grabbing hold of Jen’s head, wishing her hair wasn’t in such a tight bun so she could tangle her fingers into it. When the sensation got a bit too overwhelming she decided she wanted Jen’s body against hers again, “come here,” she whispered.

Jen wiped her mouth with one arm and crawled her way up the smaller woman, “you alright?” she asked, tenderly pushing Judy’s hair behind her ear.

“Mmm,” Judy nodded, “I just want you up here,” she grabbed the back of Jen’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss, tasting herself on Jen’s lips. “And please take those pants off,” she whispered.

The blonde gave her a smug look and unbuttoned her pants, climbing off of her to remove them completely before getting back on top of her, sitting up. “Stay like that for a second?” Judy requested nicely. She chewed her lip, looking the blonde’s body up and down. “Jesus,” she breathed, “yeah, okay, lay all of that back on top of me,” she said as she pulled Jen’s body back down to hers, running her hands up and down the blonde’s back and pulling her in for another kiss. Jen giggled a bit into their kiss, amused by her friend’s reaction to her body. She brought one knee between the brunette’s thighs to tease her, feeling her start to squirm.

Jen got the hint and slid her fingers down to where her mouth had been, making Judy groan into her mouth. “Yeah, right there,” she whispered, grinding herself into Jen’s fingers. Jen’s lips made their way to the soft patch of sensitive skin between Judy’s earlobe and neck, the feeling sending goosebumps over the smaller woman’s body. “Mmm, you really know how to treat a girl-- _ ah! _ ” in that moment Jen slipped her middle finger easily into her.

“That okay?” Jen whispered behind her ear, Judy’s face tightened up from the sensation, but she nodded and gave a soft hum of confirmation, prompting Jen to slide a second finger in. Judy let out another soft little “ _ ahh _ ” and looped her arms around Jen’s back tight to anchor herself as she rocked into her touch desperately. “Fuck, Jen.  _ Ffff- _ ”

Jen grinned into the writhing woman’s neck, increasingly turned on by her sounds and desperate motions. She found herself grinding into the thigh she straddled, Judy clearly noticing because she bent her knee up to offer a bit more pressure and relief, the two of them finding a rhythm together.

Jen felt Judy start to tense up beneath her, still attempting to keep up her body’s rocking. Jen sped up so she wouldn’t have to. “Come on, baby. Come on, come for me, baby,” she urged Judy, nipping at her neck and earlobe.

Judy’s eyes and mouth were squeezed shut, but she was nodding at the request, whimpering. She was now squeezing Jen even tighter, Jen wrapping her free arm around Judy to hold her tighter as she felt her tightening around her fingers. Judy’s back was arching now, “that’s it, sweetie,” Jen said encouragingly, making Judy whine.

“Fuck, fuck,” she whispered, squeezing Jen as tight as possible before letting out a sigh of both pleasure and relief and relaxing back into the bed.

Jen took her hand away and moved to kiss the panting woman’s lips, who melted into her immediately and affectionately. “Feel better?” Jen asked.

“Oh my God, Jen,” Judy laughed before pulling her back into their kiss, blushing from ear to ear.

“I know,” Jen mumbled against her mouth, “I’ve been told I’ve got magic fingers.”

“Shut up,” Judy whispered before pulling her into their kiss even tighter. She could feel Jen bucking a bit against her thigh that was planted firmly between her legs. Judy slid a hand down the Jen’s stomach, slipping it down over her panties, trying to help her out a bit with her fingers. 

Jen smiled into their kiss, then leaned out of it to look down at Judy’s wide-eyed expression, which seemed to be looking for approval. “Have you ever been with a woman before, sweetie?” Jen asked sweetly, running a hand through her hair.

“No,” Judy said nervously, “why? Am I doing it wrong?” she asked in a minor fit of panic.

Jen laughed and shook her head, “you’re fine, baby.” She  _ was _ a little off-target, but Jen couldn’t blame her for that, knowing she couldn’t really feel what she was doing over her underwear. “Are you nervous?” she whispered as she leaned down to kiss her neck.

“Kind of. I just don’t-”

“It’s okay,” Jen said affectionately before grabbing onto her wrist and slipping her hand into her own panties. She tried to position it as well as possible against her. “You have really little hands,” Jen teased.

Judy laughed, “I hate you.”

Jen laughed with her, holding one hand over her underwear, holding Judy’s hand through them to keep it where she wanted, coming down onto Judy’s thigh for some leverage. She moved her mouth back to Judy’s and moved her free hand to cup her breast. 

As she toyed with Judy’s body she felt the pressure of her small fingers increase, pressing in little circles right where she needed her to. She started rocking herself harder against her fingers. “Fuck,” she whispered, realizing she was already very close. “Fuck,” she said again, pushing the hand in her panties harder against her, riding it faster. Usually she’d hold out a bit longer, but it had been so long since she’d been touched by anyone that she didn’t care at this point. Jen let herself come undone on Judy’s fingers and sunk down into her.

Judy kissed her cheek and neck softly, “that was fast,” she said smugly.

“Yeah,” Jen laughed, “I’m a regular two pump chump.”

“Hey, I don’t judge, I know puberty can be rough,” Judy teased.

Jen panted with exhaustion but laughed, burying her face in Judy’s shoulder. Judy smiled to herself, rubbing Jen’s back. Eventually the blonde got herself back up and rolled off, laying on her side facing towards Judy.

“Can I say something weird?” Jen asked.

Judy laughed, “what’s weird after tonight? But yes. Of course.”

“Thank you,” Jen stared directly into her eyes when she said this, unwavering.

“For what?”

“Just, for coming into my life. For not being repulsed by my version of grief.”

Judy’s smile faded. She’d managed to forget what brought her to Jen in the first place for most of the night, and Jen  _ thanking _ her made her heart twist in her chest. But she sucked it up for now. “Thank you. For the same.”

  
  



	5. That the Nights were Mainly Made for Saying Things that You Can’t Say Tomorrow Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jen and Judy have a much-needed conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this dialogue is straight from the episode but my own spin, I didn’t wanna change it much because I think it would just be out of character. But I hope you still enjoy this chapter!

Jen stared at Judy for a moment, blue eyes wide and adoring, a little smile played its way along her lips before she leaned into her friend, brushing the tips of her fingers through the hair tucked behind her ear before kissing her tenderly.

Judy wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in tight. All of the memories Jen’s thank you forced into her brain kept flashing their way through her head, now impossible to shake. She squeezed Jen tighter and kissed her harder as if that would make all her pain dissipate, or keep Jen from noticing the tears trying to squeeze themselves out from between her eyelids. But apparently that was not working, because Jen separated from their kiss, holding the side of her face and inspecting it with concern.

“Honey?” she turned Judy’s face toward her, her eyes were shut tight, “honey, are you okay?”

Judy hiccuped a sob and shook her head, opening her eyes to look up at Jen as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Jen hugged her close, “will you tell me what’s wrong?”

Judy tried to steady her breathing between sobs. “I- I don’t deserve this, Jen. I don’t deserve  _ you _ . I’m . . . so awful,” she broke into a new fit of sobs.

“Sweetie, what are you talking about? You’re the nicest human being I’ve ever met. How can you say that?” she asked while rubbing Judy’s back comfortingly.

“Because,” she sucked in a shaky breath, “I . . . have to tell you something, Jen.”

Jen separated from their embrace and looked at her skeptically, “okay, what is it?”

Judy closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, “It’s . . . Steve. He’s-- he’s not dead,” she said softly, hanging her head in shame.

Jen sat up a bit now, closing her eyes tight and shaking her head slowly, trying to process the information but mostly in denial of it. “What? . .  _ What _ ?”

“He’s,” Judy sniffled, “he’s still alive. He broke up with me. Two months ago. He didn’t die.”

Jen sat up completely now, entirely alert and looking Judy directly in the eye. “He _broke_ _up_ with you?! What the _hell_ , Judy?” she turned towards her, her expression full of rage. “What, do you-- do you fucking get off pretending you’re going through the same thing as me?!” she’d raised her voice significantly now.

Judy sat up now, grabbing one of Jen’s pillows to hug against her, covering her nakedness. She’d never felt so small, unable to stop the sobs from escaping her throat. “No! Of course not! It’s-- it’s complicated. You don’t understand,” she cried.

“It’s not fucking complicated. He’s alive. It’s not fucking complicated, Judy, because he’s not fucking dead!”

“Will you let me ex-”

Jen cut off the smaller woman’s tearful request before she could finish, getting up and circling the bed as she completely unloaded. “Is this some game you’re playing with me? With our whole grief group? Making up that whole fucking story!? You don’t even belong in that group! Because he’s not  _ fucking _ dead! He broke up with you! Probably because you’re a lunatic that lies about him being fucking dead!” Jen kept stomping around the room, breathing heavily and angrily.

“Can I just . . . at least explain,” Judy asked cautiously.

“Fine, fucking explain!” Jen threw her hands up in the air and crossed them. Waiting impatiently for her to speak.

She sniffled, “I’m so sorry, Jen, God I’m  _ so _ sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It’s just,” she let out a heavy sigh, “Steve and I  _ really _ wanted to have kids. We tried for years and years, and” she hugged Jen’s pillow tight to her chest, inhaling some of her scent in the hopes that it would calm her, “I couldn’t. I kept having miscarriages. He broke up with me after my fifth. I really thought I was gonna have a baby and a family . . . only to find out something is just broken inside of me,” a tear ran down Judy’s cheek, Jen sighed to herself and let her arms fall to her sides, waiting for Judy to continue. “I think going through all of that just . . . messed me up a little bit . . . I swear I’m not a bad person, I’m really not I--” she shook her head, starting to climb off of the bed with only Jen’s pillow for cover, “It doesn’t matter. I should never have gone to that group in the first place. And I shouldn’t be here. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. It’s the last thing that I wanted to do. I really cherish our friendship and . . . I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know, I know. I should go. I’ll get out of your house.”

Jen scoffed, “Jesus Christ,” she shook her head and sighed. “Don’t.”

Judy stood still, tilting her head curiously.

“Just. Don’t. I can’t watch that.” Jen continued to shake her head, scraping at her scalp with her nails. She walked away from the bed until her back was against the wall and she slid down to the floor with her knees bent in front of her.

Judy watched her, cautiously sitting back on the bed, still squeezing Jen’s pillow as if it were her only life preserver.

“I just-” Jen sighed and stared off at the wall, unable to look at Judy, “what the  _ fuck, _ Judy? Why didn’t you just tell me?” Jen asked, the feeling of utter heartbreak and betrayal springing tears in her eyes. She couldn’t stop them from coming anymore. “You could’ve just told me,” she said as if she were talking to herself only.

“I know,” Judy said softly, “I just thought . . . But I didn’t, so . . . I should have, but I didn’t, I don’t know why.”

Jen shook her head, “because you have  _ issues _ .”

Judy sniffled and let a hint of a smile appear on her lips but it quickly disappeared, “you have no idea.”

“Yeah, well, I have them too,” Jen sighed and started to get up.

Judy nodded, “Well, you’re allowed.”

Jen closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath before coming back to the bed and sitting at the foot of it, at the corner opposite Judy. “Well. So are you,” Jen decided in that moment. “I mean . . . it’s weird that you lied about Steve. I mean, it’s— it’s fucked up, you know, but . . . maybe it’s easier to lie about that than it is to . . . to tell the truth about the other stuff.”

Judy nodded, “maybe.”

“I’m sorry that I said you don’t belong. You’ve . . . you’ve lost a lot too. And I’m sorry that I . . . kind of screamed in your face.

They both laughed a little bit through their tears. “It was a little scary, but, I deserved it,” Judy sniffled.

Jen shook her head, “No. Well. Maybe. It  _ is _ fucked up that you lied. But I’m still sorry. You’ve been through a lot. I get that. If I lost five pregnancies I’d probably be a little messed up too.”

Judy sniffled and rubbed her nose. “Could I . . . give you a hug?”

“No.”

Judy’s head hung sadly, her bottom lip starting to quiver. 

Jen smirked at her, “come ‘ere, sweetie,” she held her arms out and Judy put down her pillow and crawled into them, crying into Jen’s shoulder. 

“You’re a good hugger,” she said as Jen rubbed her back comfortingly. Jen chuckled and squeezed her tighter. Judy sniffled and returned her chuckle with “I’m naked.”

Jen laughed, “I noticed. So am I.”

They separated enough to look at each other, “You still have all your underwear on. I’m naked,” Judy said as if this was a new development.

Jen laughed and hugged her one more time, “I’ll get you something to wear to bed, okay?”

Judy sniffled again, “I can stay?”

Jen nodded, running her fingers through Judy’s matted hair. She sighed softly, “I can’t just fuck you and then kick you out in the middle of the night.” They both laughed through their tears.

“Well you really are a gentleman, aren’t you?”

“That I am,” she grabbed Judy by the head with both hands and kissed her forehead. “Let me get you some pajamas.”

“Thank you,” Judy tried to put on a smile.

Jen got up and walked over to her dresser, facing away from Judy as she unclasped her bra and put it back in her drawer--because she’d probably wear it four more times. She looked down at her chest and let out a soft sigh, relieved that she was able to keep her bra on without question tonight. Not that Judy would have been repulsed by her, she knew Judy didn’t judge any piece of who she was, but she had been enjoying herself far too much to have that conversation tonight. It only would have ruined the mood, she thought. She pulled Ted’s Boston Red Sox t-shirt over her head and pulled the bun out of her hair before fishing out a pair of pink silk boyshorts for Judy, who had found the shirt she’d been given before and pulled it over her head.

“Here,” Jen came back to the bed in her too-big shirt and panties, handing Judy the underwear. “Yours are toast. Might wanna just throw them away,” she teased.

Judy took the underwear from her hands as Jen climbed onto the bed, she raised an eyebrow at them, “are these boxers?”

“Sort of. Lady boxers. Thought they’d be comfortable, unless you’d like a thong to sleep in.”

Judy giggled, “no no, these are fine, just can’t picture you wearing them,” she laid back to slip her feet into them and yanked them up to her hips.

“What  _ can _ you picture me wearing?”

“Nothing, absolutely nothing,” Judy laughed.

Jen smiled at her before she laid on her back, one hand behind her head and the other over her stomach, staring up at the ceiling fan. Judy tucked herself under the covers and moved closer to Jen. “Can I ask something weird?” Judy asked, echoing Jen’s earlier language. Jen rolled her head to the side, giving her a nod. “Can we cuddle?”

Jen laughed, shaking her head and scooted closer to her, pulling the smaller woman into her chest and kissing the top of her head. “Of course. You might wanna stay of your stomach.”

Judy laughed into her chest. “Yeah I didn’t wanna say anything but my ass is on fire.”

“I know, hon, that’s why you got the silk panties,” Jen laughed.

“They are very comfortable, thank you”

Jen stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, running over the events of the day, trying to decide if she made the right decision letting Judy stay here. A look of realization appeared on her face. “Judy?”

“Yeah?” Judy said sleepily.

“That whole thing earlier . . . you asking me to spank you . . . a lot . . . and then telling me not to stop . . . was that like, some sort of—”

Judy cut her off with an “um.” She pressed her face harder into Jen. “Not from the start, no, that wasn’t the idea, but, I guess I said not to stop because . . . um . . .”

Jen interrupted her with, “Okay, yup, I think that’s enough, I get it,” she had a sort of disturbed expression on her face, but she decided not to judge Judy, since Judy would never judge her.

“Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to, like—”

“You’re good. It’s okay. You’re the one who’s gonna be sore, anyways.”

Judy chuckled a bit, and then let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry. About everything.”

Jen rubbed her back, staring at the ceiling, “I forgive you. You don’t have to be sorry anymore. Just . . . don’t lie to me again.”

Those words made Judy’s entire body tense up with guilt, but she said nothing. She decided the best thing she could do for Jen was keep her secrets to herself; there was no use hurting her anymore when she was already so broken. There was only one admission she had in mind that was somewhat harmless. “I don’t . . . live in that giant house by myself, you know. Maybe that’s obvious. I just . . . feel bad for saying I was so lonely in that house all by myself. But that’s it. There are no more lies,” ‘ _ there are no more lies,’ what a morbidly ironic thing for me to say _ , she thought.

Jen shrugged, “I kind of figured it was his house. Where  _ do _ you live then?”

Judy laughed awkwardly, “well . . . we don’t need to talk about that.”

“Huh? Where do you live?”

Judy sighed, “it’s . . . almost embarrassing. I don’t wanna say. But I have somewhere to live.”

“Judy . . . is everything okay?” Jen asked, now getting concerned.

“ _ Yes _ , I’m totally okay. I’m happy where I am.”

Jen shook her head, “It doesn’t sound like it. Just tell me, sweetie. Don’t be embarrassed. You know I won’t judge you.”

“I know it’s just . . .” Judy sighed, “I know you won’t judge me, I just don’t want you to take pity on me or anything. But . . . the assisted living facility that I work at? They let me sleep in one of the rooms there.”

“Oh, honey,” Jen said sympathetically.

“Hey, I said not to take pity on me. It’s fine. I’m fine. I like it.”

“Mm-hmm,” Jen nodded, sounding unconvinced. “Hey . . . what if . . . what if you stayed here? With me?”

Judy sat up, “what? No I—”

“Come on. My guest house is open. It used to be Ted’s music studio but . . . it’s not like he’s using it anymore.”

“Are you serious? Jen that’s a  _ very _ generous offer but seriously, you don’t have to—”

“I’m serious,” Jen said, sitting up with her. “I want you to. It would be nice having you around.”

“I— I don’t know what to say, Jen.”

“Say yes. Seriously, honey.”

A smile started to form on Judy’s face; her eyes brimming with tears. She reigned Jen in for a tight hug, “thank you,” she whispered into her shoulder.

“Of course,” Jen pulled her in closer, “seems like  _ someone’s _ gotta look after you,” she teased.

Judy laughed, “You’re probably right. I need adult supervision.”

Jen laughed with her and rubbed her back, “that’s okay, sweetie, so do I. And,” Jen picked up her phone and checked the time, “speaking of which, I think it’s past both of our bedtimes.”

“Yeah.  _ Jesus _ , yeah,” Judy said upon noticing it was already three in the morning. “Let’s go to sleep.”

They got back into the position they were in before; Jen laying on her back with Judy laying on top of her, pulled snug into her chest, their legs tangled together. Jen squeezed Judy tighter to her chest and whispered, “you don’t have to sleep in the guest house. But for now if the boys ask . . . you’re staying there.”

Judy yawned and smiled, “gotcha,” was the last thing she said before the two of them finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please god someone else write a Jen and Judy fic I’m starving for content


	6. Crawling Back to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've all been there.

Neither of them had to work all that early in the morning, so they’d be able to sleep in if they wanted to, which was relieving for both of them. 

But as it turned out, their relief was short lived, because Jen was woken up again at 6am by the sound of Judy fidgeting around and whispering “shit,  _ shit.” _

Jen wanted nothing more than to just go back to sleep, but her concern got the best of her. “Judy?” her eyes blinked sleepily in her attempt to keep them open, “everything alright?”

Judy stopped fidgeting, “shit. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. You can go back to sleep.”

Jen rolled towards her, “what happened?”

“I um . . . May have ruined your sheets,” Judy admitted shamefully. “Shit, I’m so sorry! I’m so stupid oh my god, please don’t be mad! I’m gonna take care of it,” tears started to spring in her eyes. This sort of thing did not bring back positive memories.

Jen groaned and stretched, trying to wake herself up. She didn’t smell vomit, so that was a good sign. Jen willed herself to sit up and flicked on the lamp, both of them flinching at the brightness of the light. “Ruined them . . . how?” Jen asked cautiously.

“Well . . . I don’t know about ruined, I can get the stains out for you. But I uh, didn’t think I was getting my period for another week and. Well. Fuck I’m sorry,” Judy dropped her face into her hands.

Jen groaned and rubbed her face, trying to wake herself up. “Okay, okay, it’s not a big deal, sweetie. I’ll handle it, it’s fine. Why would I be mad?”

Judy tipped her head back and tried to fan the tears that were threatening to leave her eyes. “It’s just— this happened in Steve’s bed a few times and he got so pissed and said I ruined his mattress and, God I should’ve  _ known _ , I  _ know _ it’s irregular since I stopped taking birth control I just didn’t—“

Jen cut her off, “Steve’s a dick, okay? It’s not your fault. It’s happened to me many times.”

Judy sniffled, “when you were, what, fourteen?”

“No. Well. Yes, when I was a teenager, but it doesn’t matter, it can happen at any age, sweetie, it’s not your fault.”

Judy shook her head and hid her face in her hands.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay,” Jen slid closer to pull her into her loving embrace. “Have you, you know, seen a gynecologist about it? A week early seems like . . . a lot, not  _ crazy _ , but.”

Judy nodded, “Yeah. I have endometriosis. It’s probably the main reason for my infertility and I’ve gotten surgery to remove the extra tissue once but,” she sniffled, “it’s just no use. And my birth control helped but I stopped taking it because I was trying to get pregnant and as it turns out that was useless anyways. God. Anytime I get it this bad it just feels like . . . like a slap in the face. Like my body reminding me that it’s broken.”

“You’re not broken,” Jen sighed, “come on, we can talk about this more after we get you cleaned up.”

Judy nodded tearfully as they climbed off the bed. It took Jen a lot longer to get up, having just woken up; she rubbed her face and shook her head as if that might knock the sleep out of her. Stretching and slowly climbing off the bed, Jen yawned and put a hand on Judy’s back, guiding her to their main bathroom which had a washer and dryer.

“Okay,” Jen said sleepily, “you can just wash up and I’ll take care of the laundry, alright?”

Judy stood awkwardly in the middle of the bathroom, “are you sure? You don’t have to . . .”

“Trust me, it’s fine. I have two kids, I’ve been through this a million times.”

Judy tilted her head, “what do you mean? They’re both boys.”

Jen chuckled sleepily, “yeah but Charlie was a bedwetter until he was like eight. I’ve had to get up and wash sheets in the wee hours in the morning enough to get used to it.”

“Ah,” said Judy, not really wanting to be equated to a little boy wetting the bed, but still appreciating her help. “I’m sorry. Again. About your underwear too.”

Jen shook her head and waved her hand in an “it’s no big deal” sort of gesture. “It’ll wash out. Just give them to me, I’ll hand wash them and throw them in with the sheets, they should be fine.”

“You’ll  _ hand _ wash them? You don’t have to do that. Don’t do that. I can just do that.”

Jen shook her head, “no, you won’t.” She stepped over to her shower and got the water running, taking out a clean towel from her linen closet and setting it on the bathroom counter. “It’s not a big deal. Just wash up, okay? It’ll feel better to rinse off with hot water. Don’t worry about the stains, I’ll handle it.”

Judy’s bottom lip started to tremble, she truly hoped it was her hormones making her so emotional tonight, but that was probably one of many factors. “And . . . you’re not mad?” she asked meekly.

Jen sighed. “No. I mean, I don’t really wanna be awake right now. But I’m certainly not  _ mad. _ ”

Judy nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. “Okay. So I’ll just . . .”

“Just give me the underwear and hop in the shower, I’ll handle the rest.”

“Right . . .” Judy sincerely hoped she hadn’t left a permanent stain on Jen’s boxers, since they were actually the most comfortable underwear she’d ever worn. Jen was watching her, waiting expectantly for the underwear, so she bent down and pulled them off, awkwardly stepping out of them and handing them to Jen.

“Thank you,” Jen turned away and brought them over to the sink to wash and wring out the blood with hot water while Judy undressed the rest of the way and approached the shower. Jen watched her out of the corner of her eye. Judy was sticking her hand in and testing the water, adjusting it over and over again, which made Jen chuckle to herself.

Once Judy stepped in, Jen had put the underwear in the washer and gone back to her room to strip the bed, relieved to find that her mattress hadn’t been stained. She scrubbed some detergent and hot water into the stains on her sheets before throwing them into the washing machine, being quite used to this process. She returned to her room and got Judy a fresh pair of underwear and some sweatpants in the hopes that this would be enough protection to keep this from happening again. After setting them next to the towel she left for Judy she returned to her room to make up the bed with spare sheets, almost falling asleep during the process, but she got it done and returned to the bathroom to check on Judy.

Judy had stepped out and was now drying herself off with the towel Jen left, a little less teary-eyed than before.

“Feel better?” Jen asked.

Judy sniffed and nodded, “thank you,” she said softly.

“Of course,” Jen squatted down in front of the cabinet under her sink and retrieved whatever feminine hygiene products she had. “Here,” she set down two boxes “I don’t usually use pads but I have a few in here,” she patted the box, “and there are a few different sizes of tampons in here. I recommend using both in case you bleed through one. And I left some clothes for you.”

Judy wrapped her towel around herself securely before moving in to hug Jen, “thank you,” she said again. “Don’t mention it,” Jen said as she gave her back a few pats. “Are you all set? Do you have everything you need?” 

Judy nodded, “I’m completely set, yes, thank you.”

“Okay,” Jen pulled away from their hug and cupped her face sleepily, “take your time, I’ll try not to fall asleep before you’re back.”

Jen left her to get ready and climbed back into bed with a sigh of relief, feeling immediately ready to fall asleep. And she did, until Judy climbed back into bed and crawled back over to her, snuggling back into her side. “Mm,” Jen blinked her eyes open a bit, “you comfortable?”

“Yes. More than comfortable. Thank you so much.”

“You don’t have to keep saying thank you,” Jen murmured.

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

Jen chuckled, “You don’t have to be sorry.”

“Right. Sor— I mean, thank y— shit.”

Jen laughed, “you sound like you need to sleep.”

“Yeah . . . I really do.”

The two of them woke up around 9:30, Jen feeling strangely rested given the nature of her night’s sleep. Judy didn’t seem to feel the same, she had been squirming uncomfortably for most of the morning and couldn’t hide her wincing.

“Judy, are you okay?” Jen asked before stretching and running her fingers through Judy’s hair affectionately. Judy rolled in her direction and shoved her face into Jen’s pillow, groaning loudly. “Cramps?” Jen tried. Without pulling her face out of the pillow, Judy nodded, her whole body curled up. “Poor thing,” Jen frowned and rubbed her shoulder, “I have Tylenol?”

Judy shook her head, “it’s alright, I have a prescription for the pain in my purse,” she sucked in through her teeth, “it just doesn’t always work well.”

“Alright,” Jen sighed. “I’m gonna go get you some water and grab those for you.”

“You don’t have t—  _ ah _ ! Jesus.”

“Yes, I do, just lay down.”

Judy nodded and curled up even tighter on her side. “Ugh. You’re amazing,” she muttered into the pillow.

“Yeah yeah, I know.” Jen rolled out of bed, threw on some shorts, left for a glass of water, and came back within a minute, bringing over the glass and fetching the orange bottle from Judy’s purse. She came over and sat on the bed next to Judy, who was clutching her stomach and wincing. “Here, honey,” Jen popped open the bottle and poured out a pill, “can you sit up for me?”

Judy nodded, rubbing her face sleepily and pushing herself up until she was sitting. “Thank you so much,” she said as she took the pill and sipped from the glass, “you didn’t have to do that, I could’ve gotten up.”

“I know,” Jen said, running her hand through the back of Judy’s hair.

  
  



	7. Been Wondering If Your Heart’s Still Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jen being soft

Jen was the first to come back home; she wanted to clean out the guest house a bit to make room for Judy to keep her things, but she couldn’t bring herself to go in there, so she decided another gesture was in order. She’d gone to a couple shops after showing her last house and bought a few things for Judy, knowing she was feeling like complete shit. Judy  _ had _ lied to her, but she’d also been the only person in her life who didn’t make her feel like she was completely failing at  _ everything _ ; the only person who’d been there for her at all, really. She owed Judy her hospitality at the least. She set her shopping bags on the bed and pulled out her phone to text Judy, asking what time she’d be home before unpacking the contents onto the bed.

When Judy texted back she found that she only had a little less than an hour, so she got to work setting up. The first item was a heating pad, which she figured Judy could use later if she had bad cramps, the second being a little bag of Lindt chocolates, a variety pack since she wasn’t sure yet what Judy liked, and the rest of the items were the fixins of a relaxing bath that she decided was much needed, and might ease the cramps as well as any bodily tension. She didn’t really go all-out for herself but she knew Judy was into all of that ‘woo-woo’ crap, which is why she picked up lavender-scented Dead Sea bath salt with lavender essential oil, some sandalwood-scented incense, and candles to go with it. After getting it filled, adding the drops and salt, and lighting the candles and incense around it, she went back to her room to sit on her bed.

Jen flopped on her back and sighed, wondering what had gotten into her.  _ Why am I being like this?  _ She wondered,  _ I’m never fucking like this. It’s gross. _ But following that thought, she realized she’d forgotten one thing; a glass of red wine. Jen hopped up out of bed and made her way down the stairs to retrieve it, only to find that Judy was already in her kitchen with a suitcase, clearly having just come in.

“Hey!” Judy said, sounding just a little more chipper than this morning, “sorry for letting myself in I just— well the door was unlocked.”

Jen smiled, not really caring that she’d let herself in, “would you like a glass of wine, hon?”

Judy nodded, “Ugh, that would be great. I had such a shitty day.”

Jen raised an eyebrow, “What happened?”

“Oh, you know, my uterus.”

“That bad, huh?” Jen asked as she filled a glass.

“Yeah,” Judy sighed, “it used to be really horrible before I started taking birth control but now that I’m off it and my body is trying to readjust it’s somehow even worse.”

Jen slid the glass over to her and poured herself one, she planned to bring her upstairs before giving her the drink but she could tell Judy needed one now. “Well it sounds like you really need to see a gynecologist about that. Why don’t you get back on the pill?”

Judy hung her head, “I don’t know, I guess I was just hoping . . .”

“What? That you’d get pregnant? That Steve would take you back and wanna try again?” 

“Well, I mean, I guess, it was just wishful thinking, but . . .” Judy wrung her hands together nervously.

“ _ But _ , he won’t. And you need to stay away from that asshole,” Jen said, realizing she was starting to raise her voice when she saw the pout that was forming on Judy’s face. Jen sighed apologetically, “sorry, that was harsh. I just really don’t wanna see you do that to yourself. You deserve a whole lot better than Steve and you certainly shouldn’t be compromising your body for that reason. You need to see a doctor, Judy.”

Judy nodded, seeming somewhat ashamed. She shrugged her shoulders, defeated, “you’re right. I know you are. I’m gonna see a doctor. Soon.”

Jen sighed, “Good. I don’t like having to see you in pain,” she paused and took a sip of her drink, “what happened today that was so awful?”

“Oh,” Judy crossed an arm across her chest, gripping the other. “Well . . . my cramps were, like,  _ unbearable _ the entire day, I could barely walk. And  _ apparently _ , I bled through my jeans. I can’t even remember the last time that shit happened to me in public.”

Jen cringed at the thought of it, now noticing Judy was wearing different pants than the ones she left in, “Oh, God, honey.”

Judy picked up her glass and took in a generous sip. “Oh, but it gets better,” she set the glass down, “it was these three old women sitting together that pointed it out to me, and they clearly weren’t the only ones who noticed. They were nice about it and all but they were talking to me like I was twelve. One of them was like, ‘oh, that happened to my granddaughter the last time she visited me, nothing to be embarrassed about, dear’. I  _ get _ it, she was trying to make me feel better, but Jesus Christ, I’m not a child,” Judy took in a deep breath to try to calm herself down, “anyways, I’m so hormonal that when I tried to respond I just burst into tears. And, God, so many people saw it. I think even a couple of my coworkers. So, naturally, like the grown adult that I am, I said absolutely nothing, ran away, and cried in the bathroom.”

Jen still had the same cringe on her face, her eyebrows lifted sympathetically. “Fuck, Judy, Jesus. That’s awful. You _ really _ need to see a doctor.”

Judy nodded, staring down into her glass, “yeah . . . I know I do. I just feel so humiliated. I don’t even wanna show my face there tomorrow.”

“I understand. But it’s alright, honey, tomorrow will be so much better.”

Judy sighed, “yeah, I guess it can’t be worse, right?”

Jen nodded before topping off Judy’s glass. “Come on,” Jen grabbed her by the hand, “I wanna show you something,” she said before pulling a perplexed Judy behind her to the bathroom.

“What are you—  _ oh _ ,” Judy’s eyes widened when she saw the bathtub surrounded by lit candles and smelled the aroma of lavender that was filling the room. “Is this . . . did you do this for me?”

Jen snorted, “well who the fuck else?”

Judy rolled her eyes and elbowed Jen playfully.

“Sorry, yes, of course it’s for you. I know you’re feeling like shit.”

Judy pursed her lips and furrowed her eyebrows as she stared at the bath and then up at Jen, trying not to tear up. “Thank you. God, that’s so thoughtful and sweet of you, Jen.”

Jen smiled softly, “what are friends for, right?”

Judy chuckled a bit at that and pulled Jen in for a tight hug. “You’re amazing.”

After the initial shock of the contact subsided, Jen let her arms fall around the shorter woman and squeezed her back, laying a gentle kiss on top of her head before separating. “Let me know if I can get you anything else, okay? Take as long as you want. Give yourself a break,” Jen smiled before leaving and shutting the door behind her. Judy was left with a puzzled expression on her face, but quickly started undressing, eager to get in. Once completely ready, she let out a long sigh. Instead of stepping in, she grabbed her towel and wrapped it tightly around herself, approaching the door and taking a deep breath before opening it and entering Jen’s room. Jen was leaning back against her headboard, checking her texts from the day, “that was fast,” she said snarkily, not looking up yet.

Judy ignored the comment, “I was just thinking, um,” she faded out nervously, but now she had Jen’s attention, who set down her phone, “Well . . . would you maybe wanna . . . I don’t know . . . join me?”

Jen raised her eyebrows, now interested, “Well, it  _ was _ supposed to be for  _ you _ but . . . if it’s what you want,” Jen shrugged, giving Judy a hint of a smirk, which she returned suggestively.

“I’ll see you in there,” Judy said before winking and turning around to walk out the door.

Jen grinned to herself and followed after her, entering the bathroom in time to watch Judy rid herself of her towel and step into the tub. Slowly shutting the door behind her, Jen still couldn’t take her eyes off Judy.

“Well?” Judy started, “are you just gonna stand there staring at me or are you gonna join me?”

Jen squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head quickly, “alright alright, don’t flatter yourself now,” she said as she stepped forward and began unbuttoning her blouse.

“A bath  _ and _ a show, huh?” Judy teased.

Jen laughed as she shrugged the shirt off her shoulders, “do you want me to join you or not?”

Judy raised her hands up in surrender before Judy unzipped her skirt and let it fall to her ankles. It wasn’t until she reached back to unhook her bra that she had a realization, stopping immediately. “Wait,” Jen squeezed her eyes shut and sighed, “shit,” she whispered as she closed the toilet’s lid and sat on top of it, “shit,” she repeated.

Judy raised an eyebrow curiously, “what’s wrong?”

Jen sighed, “I just, um, well . . . I haven’t had sex in . . . a while, and I don’t really know how to, um . . .” she shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to calm her emotions.

Judy moved closer to the side of the tub, resting her arms on it. “Okay? How to what?”

“How to . . . talk about this,” Jen sighed, “It’s just, I had the double, thing, you know,” she gestured to both her breasts.

Judy raised her eyebrows sympathetically, “you had cancer?”

“No it’s just, I have the gene so, I got ahead of it. I didn’t want the boys to lose their mother the way I did.”

Judy nodded, “I’m so sorry, Jen. How old were you when she died?”

“Nineteen,” Jen shrugged.

Judy sighed, “God. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” Jen said softly, “but we don’t have to talk about that right now.”

Judy nodded slowly. “Alright, but can I ask, have you not had sex with anyone since Ted died?”

Jen snorted, “since way before that.”

Judy tilted her head, “what?”

“Before he died he hadn’t touched me in over a year. Not since the surgery. I thought it wouldn’t matter,” Jen started to tear up, “that he’d get over it eventually but he never did.” Judy could hear that Jen was crying in her voice now, “he made me feel . . .” her words were broken with sobs, “so disgusting,” she cried.

“Oh my God . . .” Judy tried to process the information she was given, but the more she thought about it, the angrier ths got, “come here,” Judy gestured down towards herself.

Jen kneeled down by the side of the tub, making them almost even in eye level. Judy placed a wet hand on her arm.

“I know I didn’t know Ted, but . . . it sounds like he was kind of an asshole. It shouldn’t have mattered, and it doesn’t matter to me. You’ve got the most beautiful body, alright? So don’t let that shit keep haunting you. You did a really brave thing for the people you love and I truly admire you for that.”

Jen sobbed and nodded, “thank you,” she sniffled, “I think I needed to hear that . . . from anyone really.”

Judy nodded sympathetically and leaned in towards her, pressing their foreheads together. “Don’t let that keep you from enjoying this,” Judy whispered, reaching her arms around Jen. “Can I take this off?” she asked when her fingers reached the clasp.

Jen closed her eyes and nodded tearfully.

“Okay,” Judy said softly before unhooking the bra and pulling it off of Jen’s shoulders. “There,” she whispered as it came off, “still the most gorgeous body I’ve ever seen.”

Jen couldn’t help but smile through the tears, “thank you.” She sniffled hard and stood up, pulling down stepping out of her panties, now stripped completely, “okay . . . scoot up and make room for me, sweetie. I wanted you to have a relaxing bath and you will.”


	8. Simmer Down And Pucker Up

Judy grinned and scooted up, facing away from Jen who stepped in behind her and sat. Opening her legs as much as the bathtub would allow, Jen told Judy to scoot back, her body fitting comfortably between Jen’s legs. Judy moved back as far as she could into Jen.

“Lie back,” Jen whispered, wrapping her arms around Judy’s middle. Judy complied and leaned back into her embrace, Jen wrapping her arms around the brunette’s midsection.

“Mmm,” Judy hummed, closing her eyes, “I like this.”

Jen pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head gently. “Yeah. Me too.”

Judy snuggled in closer, holding Jen’s arms in her own. After feeling like complete shit all day, she wanted nothing more than to be held. For once she was feeling completely safe. The level of comfort she felt with Jen was unlike her relationship with anyone else. She knew Jen would never judge her; even when Jen teased her, she knew it was out of pure affection. There was a lot to be said for someone you could be present with; not having to force anything or make conversation just to fill up the silence, and Judy had that with Jen. She knew she would be content to lay there and be held and touched for hours.

Jen shifted behind her a bit and let go of her entirely, making Judy pout; Jen was reaching out to take a small jar of body scrub from the side of the tub. “You must feel gross after everything that happened today, trust me, I know the feeling,” she said as she scooped some of the scrub into her hand.

Judy nodded, still snug against Judy’s front. “I felt sweaty and gross all day. I was so tense.”

“Well, I can help with that,” Jen said, “sit up for me.”

Judy sat up and moments later felt Jen’s hands on her back, cleaning her skin rhythmically in what felt like a massage, especially when she reached Judy’s shoulders, at which point Jen tugged her back into her own body to lay back again. Now with access to her front, Jen ran the scrub up and down Judy’s arms and eventually to her neck and chest, soon remembering to get under her arms as well.

Jen grabbed one of Judy’s arms and spread the scrub down her inner arm, Judy clearly tensing up, only to jump out of her skin when Jen’s hand reached her armpit. She yanked her arm away and slammed it back down by her side in a fit of giggles. 

Jen smirked “oh, so you’re ticklish, are you?”

“Would you believe me if I said no?” Judy asked with her arms by her sides crossed tight.

Jen laughed and tucked her fingers under Judy’s arms to test out the theory. Judy practically screamed, trying to pull away as Jen wrapped her legs around her restrictively. “Not ticklish, huh?”

Judy was laughing uncontrollably, the bathtub water splashing, but she shook her head in response. 

After toying with her long enough, Jen pulled her hands away, leaving Judy to pant heavily.

“Sorry,” Jen said not-so-genuinely. Judy’s arms were still tight by her side but Jen leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her body, squeezing her tight and pulling her close. “Don’t want you splashing water all over my floor so I guess I’ll stop.”

Judy laughed, letting herself be held, “I,” she breathed, still panting, “hate you.”

Jen laughed, pulling her in even closer and kissing her head, “poor you.”

Judy scrunched her nose up, “keep doing what you were doing just  _ don’t _ touch my armpits.”

“Alright, I’ll take that invite, you have my word.” Jen scooped some more of the scrub into her hands and brought them back to Judy’s chest, running them over the outside of her breasts and cupping them from below.

“Mm, oh yeah?” Judy asked suggestively as Jen’s thumbs played their way over her nipples.

“Yeah,” Jen whispered as she continued her exploration. When she really thought about it it seemed ridiculous, but in some strange cathartic way, having her hands on another woman’s breasts was comforting. Maybe because it was just the familiarity of it, but she thoroughly enjoyed touching them and listening to the little sounds Judy made in response to her touch. 

Judy groaned contentedly, “so . . . are you bathing me or just groping me?”

“Why not both?” Jen kissed the top of her head again before running her hands over Judy’s stomach and under the bath water, rubbing as much of each of Judy’s thighs as she could reach before taking a cloth from beside the tub and continuing on her legs. Each time she made her way up Judy’s thigh she purposely grazed her center with the cloth, eventually moving it there entirely.

Judy’s breath hitched at the contact, “oh?”

“Hygiene,” Jen said nonchalantly, rubbing her gently with the cloth.

“Mm-hmm,” Judy breathed, “you don’t need the facecloth. Maybe you should put it back.”

“Oh. I see,” Jen smirked, setting the cloth aside, “you just want my fingers?”

Judy squeezed her eyes shut and nodded, blushing, “mhmm.”

“Okay,” Jen whispered, kissing her shoulder and reaching down to spread Judy’s knees apart. As far as sensation went, Judy knew doing this in bath water wouldn’t be ideal, but it would certainly be a lot less messy, so she leaned into it.

Jen was putting all the attention of her left hand on Judy’s breasts while she worked feverishly between her legs with the other. Judy noticed—maybe because this experience was meant to be relaxing—that Jen was being very gentle with her, she was putting the effort in for sure, but the way her fingers worked on Judy made her feel as though Jen thought she’d break her.

“Can you— harder,” Judy blurted out.

Jen stopped when she spoke, “what was that?”

“Rougher. I want you to be rough with me. You won’t hurt me, Jen.”

Jen chewed her lip, a mix of arousal and nervousness overwhelming her senses. She had hurt Judy the night before, and was still feeling guilty about it, even if she was just doing something Judy asked her to do. But she wasn’t about to tell Judy ‘no’.

Jen let out a soft sigh and what was almost a laugh; “okay, honey, okay.” She wrapped her left arm around Judy restrictively, holding her still as she increased her pace and pressure, making Judy squirm in her grasp.

“Fuck,” Judy whispered, breathing heavily.

“You know orgasms relieve cramps . . .” Jen sad softly, lips only inches from Judy’s ear.

Judy let out a helpless little whimper in response, nodding. 

Determined to make Judy come, Jen when to work on her neck, biting the fleshier parts, sucking hard on any expanse of skin that wouldn’t show, and kissing the delicate, sensitive parts of Judy, like the skin just behind her ear and the very back of her neck, just below her hairline. Whenever she bit down hard on Judy she would let out a breathy little “ _ ah! _ ” in response but her whole body would squirm even more; she would start bucking hard against Jen’s fingers. Jen was learning that pain was quite a turn-on for Judy and decided to keep that in mind. She still held Judy tight with her arm but moved the hand holding her back to her breast, cupping and kneading it before taking an erect nipple between her fingers and pinching it.

Judy whined and pushed herself harder into Jen’s fingers, rocking against them much faster now.

“Come on, baby,” Jen whispered.

The sultry air in Jen’s voice only made Judy more desperate. She put her own hand over Jen’s, holding it firm against her as she grinded herself into it, unable to resist finishing any longer.

“Eager, are we?” Jen teased, squeezing her tighter and helping her along. Judy ignored her comment, shamelessly riding her fingers, whimpering.

“Fuck,” Judy whispered.

“Come for me, Judy.”

Judy whined helplessly, bucking harder. “ _ Ahhhh _ ,” she groaned, her grip stiffening.

Jen could see Judy’s face tightening, her eyes squeezed shut, eyebrows coming together, lips pursed. With one hand on top of Jen’s between her legs, she used the other to grab onto the arm wrapped around her stomach, holding onto Jen as tight as she could and using her as an anchor as she came undone on Jen’s fingers yet again. 

Jen held her securely as she came back down, laying soft kisses on the back of her neck and shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“More than okay. Wow,” Judy panted heavily, “gay really  _ is _ beautiful.”

Jen laughed, “did you seriously just fucking say that?”

Judy tried to speak but failed as she was breathing too heavily, all she could do was laugh with Jen.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one asked but if you're interested I made a playlist on this account for both Judy and Jen if you're missing them the way I am: https://open.spotify.com/user/49z1jj0ye3cavk3ypkh6xzyah


	9. Constantly On the Cusp of Trying to Kiss You

“How are you feeling now?” Jen asked a few moments before the two climbed out of the bathtub.

Judy hummed contentedly, “well my cramps are definitely gone. At least for the time being.”

Jen patted Judy’s shoulder as she stood, the water now draining. “Happy to hear it,” she said as she stepped out, “that was the goal.”

Judy sat alone in the draining bath water, looking up at a fully naked Jen as she strutted across the bathroom to get both of their towels. She came back to the tub’s side and told Judy to get up, “will you stop gawking at me and dry off?”

Judy could feel the heat cumulating in her cheeks immediately, “I wasn’t— don’t flatter yourself.”

Giving Judy a smirk, Jen waited until she stood and handed her a towel, wrapping one around herself as well. “Alright,” Jen exhaled, “well you know where I keep my tampons and everything. Meet me in my room when you’re all set?”

Judy nodded.

Jen made her way back to her bedroom, deciding to shed her towel and throw on her long, blue bathrobe and hop onto her bed. Judy entered the room a few minutes later, holding her towel tight around her chest. Jen couldn’t help but look her up and down, eating up every inch of exposed, wet skin.

“Well who’s gawking now?” Judy asked, shaking her head.

Jen’s eyes didn’t move from Judy’s skin. “Me,” she responded matter-of-factly.

The fact that Jen was unfazed by her accusation made Judy blush even harder. “Well . . . stop staring and help me find something to wear.”

Jen smirked a bit and climbed off the bed. “We can match,” she said before disappearing behind her open closet door and emerging with a fluffy, white, knee-length robe. “How’s this?”

Judy’s eyes widened with a hint of excitement, “cozy.”

Jen smiled and brought the garment over, “here,” she grabbed Judy’s towel and waited for her to let go before pulling it off. She paused a moment to look Judy up and down yet again, her skin still wet and glistening. 

Judy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Will you stop that?”

Jen didn’t stop staring, “stop what?”

“Gawking.”

Jen let out an amused chuckle, “No. But here, honey, give me your arms.” Jen helped Judy into the warm, fluffy robe, knowing the woman was always cold. “That better?” Jen asked as she tied the robe securely.

“Much better,” Judy said with a grin. She glided her way across Jen’s room and onto her bed, patting it with her hand to prompt Jen to join her.

Jen crawled up onto the bed, no questions asked.

Judy knew what she wanted to do, but she wasn’t exactly sure at this point how she’d go about it. Last night was her first time really touching a woman like that, but even so, Jen was doing most of the work and guiding her completely; she wanted to do this herself this time. Unsure of how to initiate anything, she came over to Jen, who was laying on her back, propped up by a couple pillows, and straddled her waist. Jen raised an eyebrow at Judy before she leaned down for a kiss, her hands running down Jen’s robe to where it was tied. “What are you doing, sweetie?” Jen asked against her lips.

Judy lifted her head, “I wanted to return the favor,” she said as she began untying the robe.

“Okay,” Jen nodded, “that was just for you, though. I didn’t, like, need something in return.”

Judy nodded, pursing her lips. 

“You don’t need to do anything if it’s just because you think I expect you to or you have to, because you don’t, not if it’s something you’re not comfortable—“ Jen was cut off by Judy’s hand coming over her mouth.

“Jen, as much as I appreciate you saying that and as adorable as that is, can you shut up for a second?” Judy took a breath, “I  _ want _ to, okay? I don’t feel obligated, I just want to.” Jen kissed the hand that covered her mouth, which caused Judy to pull it away and quietly mutter “sorry”. 

“That’s alright,” Jen said as she sat up enough to wrap her arms around the back of Judy’s neck and pull her back into their kiss. Jen had no further response, which Judy took as her go-ahead and finished untying the robe, opening it fully. Judy slipped her hands over every expanse of skin that sat within her reach as she kissed Jen. Eventually she moved her lips to Jen’s neck, kissing and nipping a bit at her skin, making Jen breathe soft, relaxed little  _ ahhhh _ ’s. Judy made a lot of work of kissing every inch of Jen’s neck, as well as behind her ears, mostly because of the noise it elicited from Jen. 

“Mmm. Haven’t gotten this treatment in a while,” Jen murmured, and it broke Judy’s heart, especially because she herself had had no problem hooking up with anyone in the recent past, all of whom were perfectly attentive to her. The very thought made her feel guilty now, since she’d never had to give much back, so she poured all her attention and affection into Jen.

Jen hugged Judy and rubbed her back affectionately as she made her way down, kissing from Jen’s neck to her chest, where she became more gentle and cautious, even if she wasn’t trying to seem it. Judy lifted her head, finding Jen staring back down at her. Judy took a deep breath, “am I okay? Like is there anywhere I could hurt? I don’t know, with the scar tissue and . . . all that.”

Jen shook her head, “you’re okay, hon, I’m all healed. You don’t need to be so careful.”

“Right,” Judy nodded, “right it’s been a year, yeah, stupid question. Sorry.”

“It’s not a stupid question, it can happen,” Jen said sincerely. “You don’t have to be so nervous. You can ask questions.” She continued rubbing Judy’s back comfortingly.

“Okay,” Judy whispered, “thank you.” She continued kissing and sucking over Jen’s smooth skin, making her way to the tops of her breasts. “Can you . . . feel that?” 

Jen nodded, “yeah, there, it’s numb a little lower down but . . . I can feel that.”

“Okay,” she continued exploring, Jen telling her where she liked to be touched and where she had the most sensation, letting her kiss wherever she wanted. Judy propped herself up on her elbows, “you’re fucking gorgeous, you know.”

“Thank you,” Jen grinned, running her hand through Judy’s hair. “So are you.”

Judy smiled bashfully before lowering her head back down, bringing her lips to Jen’s stomach. Mainly for the purpose of stalling, she kissed every inch of Jen’s stomach, Jen’s fingers in her hair now. Every now and then Judy’s lips would make their way down almost low enough, making Jen groan. But each time she did this, she immediately made her way back up. Jen was growing more desperate by the minute, but she thought begging might be a bit too pathetic and settled for spreading her legs invitingly.

“Oh,” she heard Judy whisper. “Message received,” she said as she made her way down; there was no way to continue stalling at this point.

Jen’s fingers tangled into her hair, gently urging Judy downwards.

“You’re okay. Don’t be so nervous. You can stop any time you want if you’re not comfortable.”

Judy nodded shyly, grateful for her understanding. “I’m okay,” she said, smiling up at Jen for good measure. She continued her way down with her lips until she found herself between Jen’s legs, Jen’s fingers tightening in her hair before she even made contact. Judy let her tongue run through once first, to see what it felt like and what it tasted like, which made Jen’s hips jump off the bed. It was easy to say she knew what she was doing since she’d had it done to her so many times, but now that she found herself there she grew a bit more nervous than anticipated. She just wanted so badly to make Jen come as hard as she had the night before, she owed her at least that, but wasn’t nearly as versed in this practice.

Versed or not, Judy gripped Jen’s thighs—which were bent up and spread open—for leverage and let her tongue take a dive. Finally, she was tasting Jen, something she’d been scared to admit she wanted for a long time now; scared to admit even to herself. Mostly imitating the movements Jen had used the night before, she listened to her responses and took note of what she enjoyed most.

Jen’s fingers were still tangled up in Judy’s hair, unintentionally squeezing harder whenever Judy hit her in just the right place.

The more Jen moaned and rocked against her face the more confident Judy started getting, eventually taking Jen’s sensitive clit between her lips and sucking.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Jen whined, jerking so hard that Judy needed to hold her hips down against the bed. She continued working dutifully with her tongue, feeling as though Jen might actually rip her hair out. “You’re . . .” Jen panted, “good at this, baby.”

Jen could feel Judy smiling against her as she continued her work. 

Starting to feel as though her jaw might break, Judy switched her tongue out for her thumb, Jen relaxing a bit more into her touch, the sensation being less intense now. Judy kissed her way back up to Jen’s mouth, her hand still between Jen’s legs. 

“Well hello,” Jen grinned, Judy now unable to hide the bashful smile that came over her just looking at Jen. Even when their mouths met, neither of them could stop their smiles. Judy continued her work between Jen’s legs; two fingers circling her clit as she grinded against them. If the feeling of Judy’s fingers wasn’t enough, the taste of herself on Judy’s tongue only intensified her need. “God,” Jen groaned against her mouth, “open this, I wanna feel you on me,” Jen said as she reached down, Judy propping herself up to accommodate for Jen’s hands, which came between them to undo the knot she’d just tied on Judy’s robe, it falling open easily.

Not really caring to take it the rest of the way off, Jen pulled it open and let Judy lay back on top of her, her hand still at work. Tucking her hands inside Judy’s robe and wrapping them around her bare back, Jen slid her hands down to her ass and squeezed. Judy let out a soft “ _ mmph _ ” in response and started moving faster. Jen moved a hand up and wrapped it around Judy’s back, squeezing her tighter as she started rocking harder.

“Oh  _ fffffuck _ ,” she whispered, knowing she was coming unraveled right then and there, “harder, Judy.”

Judy listened to her command, getting rougher, her tongue and teeth rough against Jen’s neck. “Mm, like that?” she asked, pulling her mouth away from Jen’s neck for a short interval. 

“God, yes,” Jen gasped.

“Are you gonna come?” Judy asked, somewhat innocently.

“Jesus  _ fuck _ , Judy,  _ yes _ ,” Jen snapped, breathing heavily.

Judy decided now was a good time to shut up, now moving her hand as fast as she could move it, feeling as though her arm might give out. Jen kept squeezing her tighter, her nails now digging into Judy’s skin as she came undone on her fingers, her legs shaking. She moaned loudly into Judy’s ear before loosening her grip and sinking into the bed, panting. Judy couldn’t help the smug look on her face as she pulled her fingers away and sat up, still straddling Jen, her robe hanging open. Jen stared up at her, unable to find words as she caught her breath and wiped the sweat from her forehead. Taking advantage of Jen’s staring, Judy brought her wet fingers up to her mouth, looking Jen in the eye as she slipped them in, licking them generously and deliberately for show.

“Fuck,” Jen whispered under her breath, watching intently.


	10. Too Busy Being Yours to Fall for Somebody New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Judy goes to jail for Jen. Steve bails her out.

“You like that?” Judy grinned, slipping her fingers out of her mouth.

Jen bit down on her bottom lip and nodded. “I like you, Judy.” She wasn’t sure exactly what she meant by that, or what way she meant it in, but it needed to be said.

Judy laid herself back down on top of Jen, smiling contentedly. “I like you too.”

“I’m serious,” Jen said, not knowing why she was continuing on this subject. “I really care about you.”

Judy wrapped her arms around Jen and squeezed; “I really care about you too. Seriously.”

Jen sighed. “Hey, you know what I told you . . . about Ted and I . . . that last year?”

“Mmm,” Judy nodded.

“I’ve never told anyone that. You’re the first.”

Judy propped herself up on one elbow, assessing Jen’s expression, “Seriously?”

“Yeah. No one knew we were having problems. I guess I thought . . . If I only talked about the good times, all of that would go away.”

Judy nodded, stroking Jen’s upper arm, “I wish it was that easy.”

“Yeah . . . me too. But I’m glad I put it out there. I guess I just really trust you. And that isn’t easy for me.”

Judy’s heart twisted, Jen was staring up at her with this wide-eyed, affectionate gaze that made Judy want to cry. She wasn’t sure how to feel. On one end she was ecstatic to know Jen trusted her, and it warmed her heart. But she knew every moment she spent with Jen she was betraying her trust. Not knowing what to say, she continued caressing Jen’s arm for comfort. Taking a pause before saying “I trust you too.”

Jen smiled warmly at her, gently pulling her down into another kiss.

 

…

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Judy leaned into Steve, grateful for his being there and comfortable in the familiarity of his embrace. She was sorry that she put him through the stress of coming here, but she wasn’t sorry for taking the fall for Jen. Judy was the one who deserved to go to jail when all was said and done; this was the least she could do. Besides, the boys really needed Jen today, and she wasn’t about to let them watch her get arrested. “You’re right. I can’t tell her,” she admitted. Telling her would be selfish, she thought, she was in this deep enough that telling Jen would only devastate her, and what would either of them gain from that? “I don’t wanna make anyone’s life any worse.”

“Hey,” Steve slid a hand under her hair, cradling her head. Judy was unsure of how to react to his touch, but she let his hand stay there. “Baby,” he said in a low voice, testing the name she had told him not to call her only days before. Judy winced inwardly, but said nothing. “You just listen to me . . .  _ Trust _ me. It’ll all be okay.”

Judy winced again, knowing there was no way everything would be okay, but there was no use in saying that. “Okay.”

“I got you.” He was running his fingers down her cheek now, his soft, gentle caresses that used to bring her so much comfort. “I got you,” he repeated, leaning into her now, still caressing her tenderly. She wanted to let it happen. She was unhealthily addicted to him and she knew it. The thought of falling back into the way things were before was so appealing in the middle of this mess. But she knew going back wouldn’t undo what she’d already done; wouldn’t bring Ted back to life or solve any of her problems. The rational piece of her brain was screaming for her to reject him. And for once, she listened.

“No, stop,” she whispered, taking a step back.

There was a confused look on his face, unable to fathom the idea of Judy not immediately coming back to him. “ _ What? _ ”

Judy took another step back, taking in a deep, shaky breath. “I said no. And don’t call me ‘ _ baby _ ’.”

He scoffed, almost laughing, “Why? Is your life so much better without me?”

Judy crossed her arms, shrugging. “It is. I’ve got Jen now.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. She cares about me. And I care about her. And I want you to take me back to  _ her _ house. Not yours.”

Steve laughed, annoyed, “What am I? Your fucking chauffeur? I already came all the way here to bail you out.”

Judy rolled her eyes, “Well you don’t get to fuck me just because bailing me out gives you some, like, hero complex or something. And her house isn’t even that far. It’s practically on the way. Come on, don’t be an asshole.”

Steve raised his eyebrows, thoroughly annoyed, “Oh,” he gestured inwardly towards his chest, “ _ I’m _ the asshole?”

Judy huffed, half turning away from him, “Forget it. I’ll find a way home. Just go.”

He paused, staring in her direction, waiting for her to say something else, trying to assess whether or not she was serious. She didn’t budge. “Fine, Maybe your  _ girlfriend _ will pick you up,” he called back snarkily as he stormed off.

Judy opened her mouth to retort that, but decided it wasn’t worth it. She shook her head angrily and waited until he got in his car and drove off to dial Jen.

She picked up immediately. “ _ Judy? _ What the fuck was that? Are you okay? Do you need me to come bail you out?”

Judy sighed heavily. “Hey. No, I’m okay. Steve bailed me out but . . . I’m kind of stuck here. We sort of got into it so . . . He’s gone.”

“He left you at the police station?”

Judy cringed uncomfortably, “Yeah . . .”

“God, what a fucking prick. Hang tight. I’ll be right there.”

“Thank y—“ Jen had already hung up the phone, probably running out to her car.

Judy glanced around the dark parking lot, accepting the fact that she’d be stuck out here until Jen arrived because she certainly wasn’t going back in that station.

She didn’t like the situation; aside from the fact that she was completely vulnerable out there, she was left alone with her thoughts.

It was beginning to set in that things were over with Steve.  _ Really _ over. They weren’t getting back together at any point, and she knew that. It was probably for the best, she thought, but they were so tangled up in each other that she couldn’t help the devastation the idea brought. She knew she shouldn’t want it with him anymore, but they were so close to having a family and a home together and everything she’d ever wanted, and that was all swept out from below her. Looking around the somewhat empty parking lot, Judy decided no one would be able to see it if she let her tears fall, so she did. The only consolation was thinking of Jen. Jen was the only person that brought her true joy and comfort nowadays, and she truly cared about Judy. Even if Judy hadn’t known Jen very long, she knew her  _ well _ and they  _ got _ each other. She knew when Jen showed up, she wouldn’t complain about the inconvenience like Steve had, nor would she judge her the way he did. Jen would actually care; actually be concerned about her, and it felt good to know that. Jen was right about him being an asshole from the start, and, rationally, Judy knew that, but she never stopped making excuses for him or justifying the time she spent with him. But now she took it to heart. She finally stood up for herself and devastated or not, Judy felt empowered by it. She could only imagine how Jen would have reacted had she gone home with Steve, or kissed him back even. Her and Jen hadn’t made anything official or exclusive, so it wouldn’t be cheating exactly, but she knew Jen would be heartbroken. Judy could tell Jen was growing quite an attachment to her. They had been sleeping together, sharing a bed for a little while now, and Jen had been growing more affectionate by the day. She always held Judy through the night, letting Judy rest her head on her chest. And now she trusted Judy with her boys, and was clearly pleased by their love for her. Jen had started calling her by affectionate nicknames more often now too, and Judy didn’t mind being called “baby” when it came from Jen. It took her a little while to soften up and start showing Judy affection outside of the bedroom, but now when Judy would stand at the counter making breakfast, she’d feel a pair of arms wrap affectionately around her waist and the warmth of Jen’s body pressed up against her back, and the heat of Jen’s breath when she whispered “Morning, sweetie” into her ear and kissed the back of her shoulder. The thought alone put Judy’s mind and body at ease. She knew, whether or not they had given themselves a label, she was Jen’s and Jen was hers, and the thought of the pain she might have just caused her if she’d left with Steve was unbearable. When Jen finally pulled up, Judy immediately relaxed, feeling safe.

Jen pulled up right next to Judy, putting the car in park and climbing out as quickly as she could, running straight to Judy. “Judy! Honey! Are you alright? I can’t believe you went to jail for me! Why did you do that?”

“That’s what friends are for, right?” Judy said, still teary-eyed.

Jen looked back at her like she was insane. “No?”

“I’m fine, really.”

Jen sighed, placing a soft hand on her cheek. “I’m so sorry. Steve didn’t have to bail you out. I would’ve done it,” she stroked Judy’s skin softly with her thumb.

“I know. It’s okay. You’re here now, aren’t you?”

Jen sighed and pulled Judy in for a hug, one that Judy didn’t want to end. She cursed herself for even considering doing anything with Steve when Jen’s arms felt so much like home. Judy squeezed Jen as tight as she could, letting a few tears fall onto her shoulder. “You’re right . . . Steve’s a prick.”

Jen squeezed her back. “I know honey, I know.” She separated from Judy, holding her upper arms and inspecting her face. “Have you been crying?”

She was about to deny it, but knew her face must’ve been tearstained already. Judy’s expression turned into a pout, she nodded sadly.

“Oh, sweetie.” Jen pulled her back in and held her, rubbing her back for comfort.

“Steve tried to kiss me,” Judy admitted softly into Jen’s shoulder.

Jen pulled away from their embrace. “He  _ what? _ ”

“He wanted to get back together, I think.”

“Well? What did you say? What do  _ you _ want?”

Judy sighed, “I told him no. I told him . . . that I have you now . . . that I care about you. Anyways, he wouldn’t drive me back because I rejected him. I guess blue balls will do that to a man,” she scoffed.

Jen squeezed her shoulder, “I am so proud of you. But come on, let’s get in the car, we can talk on the way back.”

After they climbed into the car and Jen started to back out, she asked “Is that why you were crying? Because of what happened with Steve?”

Judy shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. I think it just set in that we’re  _ really _ done. I invested a lot of time into that relationship so . . . I had already planned my future out and pictured it a certain way and . . . it’s hard to wipe that away. I just wanted a home and a family.”

Jen reached over the console of the car. “Hey,” she grabbed Judy’s hand and held it firmly. “You have a home. And a family. I want you to know you’re a part of this family. And my home is your home.  _ Our _ home. Okay?” she glanced over at Judy and smiled to show her she was being genuine, quickly moving her eyes back to the road. She knew Judy got anxious in the car, for whatever reason, so she tried to drive with extra caution. 

Judy held her hand with both of her own, stoking the back of Jen’s hand with her thumb. She sniffled, “Thank you, Jen, but . . .”

“I’m serious, Judy. You’re family to us.”

The dam was breaking now, she knew she didn’t deserve the treatment Jen gave her, but she’d do anything she could to earn it. Judy sucked in a quiet sob. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Jen sighed, “Oh, sweetheart, that was supposed to make you feel better.”

Judy sniffled loudly, “No, no, it does.”

Once they pulled into the driveway and Jen pulled the keys from the ignition, she turned towards Judy fully. “We . . .” she took a deep breath, “really do love you, you know.”

A grin formed on Judy’s face, “‘ _ We _ ’? Is that, like, your pussy way of telling me you love me?”

Jen shook her head, unable to keep from smiling at Judy, “I take it back, I hate you.”

“Mmmm, sure you do,” Judy teased. “Come here,” she leaned over the console and reached for the back of Jen’s neck, pulling her into a kiss.

Jen reached out and wrapped her arms around Judy’s back. “This is too hard,” Judy said as she pulled away, grinning at her before getting out of the car, Jen following her lead.

They met at the hood, Jen moving her hands to cradle Judy’s face. Judy held a hand over Jen’s, keeping it in place at the back of her jaw. Jen stared directed into Judy’s eyes until she returned her gaze. “I . . . love you, Judy. And that’s not an easy thing for me to admit.”

Judy tilted her head to the side, smiling sweetly. “I love you too . . .” She would have said it either way, but as the words came out of her mouth she realized how true they were; that this woman was her best friend, that she’d do anything for her, and that for once that went both ways. “I love you too,” she said again, under her breath, as if letting herself know.

Jen gave her a soft smile, gentle hands under her jaw pulling her into a tender kiss.

“Come on, baby,” Jen put a hand on her back, ready to lead her inside, “let’s go to bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you didn’t think this one would have such a wholesome ending. Excited to share Part III of the series!

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the Arctic Monkeys titles to the chapters but I got stumped. Anyways I would've published this a couple days ago but it took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out how to add another part because I've got like D+ level computer literacy skills and this is my first series. Hope you enjoy! Let me know if you'd like me to continue.


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